LGBTIQ individuals are less likely to seek and less likely to receive culturally appropriate, patient centered support for depression and other mental health conditions. If you are experiencing depression or anxiety please seek help. On this website are resourses to refer you to affirming on-line or in person support across the country.
I lost my best friend in graduate school to suicide, because he did not have affirming support. It was devestating to lose a brilliant young man with such promise, because of sexual orientation issues. I think of him everyday.
If your friend expresses thoughts of suicide seek immediate assistance.
This is part of a Scottish National Campaign on mental health issues. This segment is targetinging the LGBTIQ community. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSKZNYHoW1I&feature=youtu.be
One in the series of short films that 'see me' has produced to raise awareness of mental health and the stigma still too often associated with mental health problems. This film explores mental health issues, sexual orientation and gender identity.
Showing posts with label gender identity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gender identity. Show all posts
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Monday, April 30, 2012
Friday, December 2, 2011
Senate Committee Fails to Include Bullying in Education Bill
As reported in Metro Weekly on October 20, 2011, the Senate Health, Education, Labor and Pensions (HELP) Committee failed to include two anti-bullying amendments in the Elementary and Secondary Education Reauthorization Act of 2011. The Safe Schools Improvement Act (SSIA), co-introduced by Senators Bob Casey Jr. (D-Pa.) and Mark Kirk (R-Ill.), would amend the Safe and Drug-Free Schools and Communities Act to include programs for bullying- and harassment-prevention. The Student Non-Discrimination Act (SNDA), introduced by Senator Al Franken (D-Minn.), would add sexual orientation and gender identity to federal education nondiscrimination law.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Transgender kids: Painful quest to be who they are
By Madison Park, CNN updated 10:34 AM EST, Tue September 27, 2011 Reposted at http://keystothecloset.blogspot.com
Gender identity: A change in childhood
• Transgender children feel a disconnect between their biology and gender
• Some children said they felt uncomfortable with their assigned gender as early as they could remember
• Not all gender nonconforming behavior for kids mean they will become transgender
• Hormone treatments exist to help kids transition to the opposite gender
Berkeley, California (CNN) -- One of the first things Thomas Lobel told his parents was that they were wrong.
The 3-year-old had learned sign language because he had apraxia, a speech impediment that hindered his ability to talk. The toddler pointed to himself and signed, "I am a girl."
"Oh look, he's confused," his parents said. Maybe he mixed up the signs for boy and girl. So they signed back. "No, no. Thomas is a boy."
But the toddler shook his head. "I am a girl," he signed back emphatically.
Regardless of the fact he was physically male, Thomas has always maintained that he is a girl. When teased at school about being quiet and liking dolls, Thomas would repeat his simple response, "I am a girl."
Thomas, now 11, goes by the name of Tammy, wears dresses to school and lives as a girl.
Her parents have been accused by family, friends and others of being reckless, causing their youngest child permanent damage by allowing her to live as a girl.
When children insist that their gender doesn't match their body, it can trigger a confusing, painful odyssey for the family. And most of the time, these families face isolating experiences trying to decide what is best for their kids, especially because transgender issues are viewed as mysterious, and loaded with stigma and judgment.
Transgender children experience a disconnect between their sex, which is anatomy, and their gender, which includes behaviors, roles and activities. In Thomas' case, he has a male body, but he prefers female things likes skirts and dolls, rather than pants and trucks.
Gender identity often gets confused with sexual orientation. The difference is "gender identity is who you are and sexual orientation is who you want to have sex with," said Dr. Johanna Olson, professor of clinical pediatrics at University of Southern California, who treats transgender children.
When talking about young kids around age 3, they're probably not interested in sexual orientation, she said. But experts say some children look like they will be transgender in early childhood, and turn out gay, lesbian or bisexual.
Gender nonconformity is not a disorder, group says
There is little consistent advice for parents, because robust data and studies about transgender children are rare. The rates of people who are transgender vary from 1 in 30,000 to 1 in 1,000, depending on various international studies.
Like Tammy, some children as young as 3, show early signs of gender dysphoria or gender identity disorder, mental health experts who work with transgender children estimate. These children are not intersex -- they do no have a physical disorder or malformation of their sexual organs. The gender issue exists in the brain, though whether it's psychological or physiological is debated by experts.
One of the most recognizable transgender celebrities is Chaz Bono, who currently competes on "Dancing with the Stars." Born female to entertainers Sonny and Cher, Bono underwent a transition to become a man in his 40s. He wrote in his book "Transition" that even in his childhood, he had been "aware of a part of me that did not fit."
Many transgender kids report feeling discomfort with their gender as early as they can remember.
Proud to be 'Born This Way'
Mario, a 14-year-old Californian who asked his full name not be used, was born female. He dresses and acts like a boy, because, he said, since he was 2 years old, he never genuinely felt like a girl.
"I feel uncomfortable in female clothes," said Mario. "I feel like why should I wear this when it's not who I am? Why should I be this fake person?"
But when a child starts identifying with the opposite gender, there is no way to determine whether it's temporary or likely to become permanent.
"It's important to acknowledge the signs of gender dysphoria, especially for children," said Eli Coleman, who chaired a committee to update treatment guidelines for the World Professional Association for Transgender Health, an international medical group meeting this week in Atlanta, Georgia. "By not addressing it, it could be really more damaging for the child than not."
"It's a very difficult area and there are a lot of children who have gender nonconformity. They will simply grow out of that. Many of them later on identify as gay or lesbian, rather than transgender."
The American Psychological Association warns that "It is not helpful to force the child to act in a more gender-conforming way." When they're forced to conform, some children spiral into depression, behavioral problems and even suicidal thoughts.
Since age 3, Thomas Lobel has told his parents that he is a girl. The journey of gender
Thomas Lobel's metamorphosis can be told in pictures.
After his parents, Pauline Moreno and Debra Lobel, adopted Thomas at age 2, they observed that he was aloof. Shy and freckle-faced, he usually sat in a corner reading a book.
Unlike his two older brothers who were boisterous, athletic and masculine, Thomas was unusually quiet. Because of his speech impediment, he had to go to special education. Despite developing better speech skills, he didn't want to engage in conversation or socialize.
"He seemed so depressed and unhappy all the time," Lobel said. "He didn't enjoy playing. He sat there all the time, not interacting with anybody. He seemed really lonely."
In photos, Thomas appears small with a clenched smile and a glazed and distant look in his eyes.
Throughout his childhood, Thomas wanted to read Wonder Woman comics rather than Superman, wear rhinestone-studded hairbands instead of baseball caps and play with dolls rather than action figures. And, his parents said, he kept insisting he was a girl.
His personality changed from a very sad kid who sat still... to a very happy little girl who was thrilled to be alive.
His situation worsened when Thomas told his parents he wanted to cut off his penis. His parents tried to rationalize with him, warning him that he could bleed to death. But his request was a signal to them that this was serious and required professional help.
After seeing therapists and psychiatrists, the mental health specialists confirmed what Thomas had been saying all along. At age 7, he had gender identity disorder.
The diagnosis was hard for Moreno and Lobel to accept.
"The fact that she's transgender gives her a harder road ahead, an absolute harder road," Moreno said.
They have been accused of terrible parenting by friends, family and others, that "we're pushing her to do this. I'm a lesbian. My partner is a lesbian. That suddenly falls into the fold: 'Oh, you want her to be part of the lifestyle you guys live,' " Moreno said.
But that couldn't be further from the truth, they said. People don't understand how a hurting child can break a parent's heart.
"No parent wants to be in this situation," said Lisa Kenney, managing director of Gender Spectrum, a conference for families of gender nonconforming children. "Nobody had a child and imagined this was what would happen."
Transgender kids do not come from lax parenting where adults "roll over" to their kids' whims, said Olson, who treats transgender children.
"The parents are tortured by it," she said. "These are not easy decisions. Parents go through a long process going through this."
Moreno and Lobel allowed their child pick his own clothes at age 8. Thomas chose girl's clothing and also picked four bras. Then, Thomas wanted to change his name to Tammy and use a female pronoun. This is called social transitioning and can include new hairstyles, wardrobe. Aside from mental health therapy, this stage involves no medical interventions. Social transitioning is completely reversible, said Olson, a gender identity specialist.
Every step of the way, her parents told Tammy, "If at any time you want to go back to your boy's clothes, you can go back to Thomas. It's OK." Tammy has declined every time.
She continues to see therapists.
Tammy's room is painted bright golden yellow, decorated with stuffed animals and cluttered with pink glittery tennis shoes. At home, Tammy dances through the hallway, twirling in her pink flower dress.
"As soon as we let him put on a dress, his personality changed from a very sad kid who sat still, didn't do much of anything to a very happy little girl who was thrilled to be alive," Moreno said.
'I am transgender, and I want my voice to be heard'
The hormone question
This summer, Tammy began the next phase of transition, taking hormone-blocking drugs. This controversial medical treatment prevents children from experiencing puberty.
Girls who feel more like boys take hormone-suppressing medications so they will not develop breasts and start menstruating. Boys who identify as girls can take blockers to avoid developing broad shoulders, deep voice and facial hair. The drugs put their puberty on pause, so they can figure out whether to transition genders.
The hormone blockers are also reversible, because once a child stops taking the drugs, the natural puberty begins, said Dr. Stephen Rosenthal, pediatric endocrinologist at UC San Francisco.
But if the child wants to transition to the other gender, he or she can take testosterone or estrogen hormone treatment to go through the puberty of the opposite gender.
This transgender hormone therapy for children is relatively new in the United States after a gender clinic opened in Boston in 2007. Programs for transgender children exist in cities including Los Angeles, Seattle and San Francisco. The kids are treated by pediatric endocrinologists after long evaluations by mental health professionals.
No statistics exist on the number of transgender children taking such medical treatments.
Medical practitioners have to be careful with children with gender identity issues, said Dr. Kenneth Zucker, head of the Gender Identity Service in the Child, Youth, and Family Program and professor at the University of Toronto. Giving children hormone blockers to kids before the age of 13 is too early, he said.
Zucker conducted a study following 109 boys who had gender identity disorder between the ages of 3 and 12. Researchers followed up at the mean age of 20 and found 12% of these boys continued to want to change genders.
"The vast majority of children lose their desire to be of the other gender later," he said. "So what that means is that one should be very cautious in assuming say that a 6-year-old who has strong desire to be of the other gender will feel that way 10 years later."
All of this leads to unsettling answers for families trying to understand their children. No one knows whether a child's gender dysphoria will continue forever or if it is temporary.
The unsatisfying answer repeated by experts is that only time will tell.
Despite the murky science and social stigma that confound adults, Mario, who has lived as a boy since fourth grade, has a simple answer.
"Don't change for nobody else," he said. "Just be you and be happy."
http://www.cnn.com/2011/09/27/health/transgender-kids/?hpt=he_c1
Gender identity: A change in childhood
• Transgender children feel a disconnect between their biology and gender
• Some children said they felt uncomfortable with their assigned gender as early as they could remember
• Not all gender nonconforming behavior for kids mean they will become transgender
• Hormone treatments exist to help kids transition to the opposite gender
Berkeley, California (CNN) -- One of the first things Thomas Lobel told his parents was that they were wrong.
The 3-year-old had learned sign language because he had apraxia, a speech impediment that hindered his ability to talk. The toddler pointed to himself and signed, "I am a girl."
"Oh look, he's confused," his parents said. Maybe he mixed up the signs for boy and girl. So they signed back. "No, no. Thomas is a boy."
But the toddler shook his head. "I am a girl," he signed back emphatically.
Regardless of the fact he was physically male, Thomas has always maintained that he is a girl. When teased at school about being quiet and liking dolls, Thomas would repeat his simple response, "I am a girl."
Thomas, now 11, goes by the name of Tammy, wears dresses to school and lives as a girl.
Her parents have been accused by family, friends and others of being reckless, causing their youngest child permanent damage by allowing her to live as a girl.
When children insist that their gender doesn't match their body, it can trigger a confusing, painful odyssey for the family. And most of the time, these families face isolating experiences trying to decide what is best for their kids, especially because transgender issues are viewed as mysterious, and loaded with stigma and judgment.
Transgender children experience a disconnect between their sex, which is anatomy, and their gender, which includes behaviors, roles and activities. In Thomas' case, he has a male body, but he prefers female things likes skirts and dolls, rather than pants and trucks.
Gender identity often gets confused with sexual orientation. The difference is "gender identity is who you are and sexual orientation is who you want to have sex with," said Dr. Johanna Olson, professor of clinical pediatrics at University of Southern California, who treats transgender children.
When talking about young kids around age 3, they're probably not interested in sexual orientation, she said. But experts say some children look like they will be transgender in early childhood, and turn out gay, lesbian or bisexual.
Gender nonconformity is not a disorder, group says
There is little consistent advice for parents, because robust data and studies about transgender children are rare. The rates of people who are transgender vary from 1 in 30,000 to 1 in 1,000, depending on various international studies.
Like Tammy, some children as young as 3, show early signs of gender dysphoria or gender identity disorder, mental health experts who work with transgender children estimate. These children are not intersex -- they do no have a physical disorder or malformation of their sexual organs. The gender issue exists in the brain, though whether it's psychological or physiological is debated by experts.
One of the most recognizable transgender celebrities is Chaz Bono, who currently competes on "Dancing with the Stars." Born female to entertainers Sonny and Cher, Bono underwent a transition to become a man in his 40s. He wrote in his book "Transition" that even in his childhood, he had been "aware of a part of me that did not fit."
Many transgender kids report feeling discomfort with their gender as early as they can remember.
Proud to be 'Born This Way'
Mario, a 14-year-old Californian who asked his full name not be used, was born female. He dresses and acts like a boy, because, he said, since he was 2 years old, he never genuinely felt like a girl.
"I feel uncomfortable in female clothes," said Mario. "I feel like why should I wear this when it's not who I am? Why should I be this fake person?"
But when a child starts identifying with the opposite gender, there is no way to determine whether it's temporary or likely to become permanent.
"It's important to acknowledge the signs of gender dysphoria, especially for children," said Eli Coleman, who chaired a committee to update treatment guidelines for the World Professional Association for Transgender Health, an international medical group meeting this week in Atlanta, Georgia. "By not addressing it, it could be really more damaging for the child than not."
"It's a very difficult area and there are a lot of children who have gender nonconformity. They will simply grow out of that. Many of them later on identify as gay or lesbian, rather than transgender."
The American Psychological Association warns that "It is not helpful to force the child to act in a more gender-conforming way." When they're forced to conform, some children spiral into depression, behavioral problems and even suicidal thoughts.
Since age 3, Thomas Lobel has told his parents that he is a girl. The journey of gender
Thomas Lobel's metamorphosis can be told in pictures.
After his parents, Pauline Moreno and Debra Lobel, adopted Thomas at age 2, they observed that he was aloof. Shy and freckle-faced, he usually sat in a corner reading a book.
Unlike his two older brothers who were boisterous, athletic and masculine, Thomas was unusually quiet. Because of his speech impediment, he had to go to special education. Despite developing better speech skills, he didn't want to engage in conversation or socialize.
"He seemed so depressed and unhappy all the time," Lobel said. "He didn't enjoy playing. He sat there all the time, not interacting with anybody. He seemed really lonely."
In photos, Thomas appears small with a clenched smile and a glazed and distant look in his eyes.
Throughout his childhood, Thomas wanted to read Wonder Woman comics rather than Superman, wear rhinestone-studded hairbands instead of baseball caps and play with dolls rather than action figures. And, his parents said, he kept insisting he was a girl.
His personality changed from a very sad kid who sat still... to a very happy little girl who was thrilled to be alive.
His situation worsened when Thomas told his parents he wanted to cut off his penis. His parents tried to rationalize with him, warning him that he could bleed to death. But his request was a signal to them that this was serious and required professional help.
After seeing therapists and psychiatrists, the mental health specialists confirmed what Thomas had been saying all along. At age 7, he had gender identity disorder.
The diagnosis was hard for Moreno and Lobel to accept.
"The fact that she's transgender gives her a harder road ahead, an absolute harder road," Moreno said.
They have been accused of terrible parenting by friends, family and others, that "we're pushing her to do this. I'm a lesbian. My partner is a lesbian. That suddenly falls into the fold: 'Oh, you want her to be part of the lifestyle you guys live,' " Moreno said.
But that couldn't be further from the truth, they said. People don't understand how a hurting child can break a parent's heart.
"No parent wants to be in this situation," said Lisa Kenney, managing director of Gender Spectrum, a conference for families of gender nonconforming children. "Nobody had a child and imagined this was what would happen."
Transgender kids do not come from lax parenting where adults "roll over" to their kids' whims, said Olson, who treats transgender children.
"The parents are tortured by it," she said. "These are not easy decisions. Parents go through a long process going through this."
Moreno and Lobel allowed their child pick his own clothes at age 8. Thomas chose girl's clothing and also picked four bras. Then, Thomas wanted to change his name to Tammy and use a female pronoun. This is called social transitioning and can include new hairstyles, wardrobe. Aside from mental health therapy, this stage involves no medical interventions. Social transitioning is completely reversible, said Olson, a gender identity specialist.
Every step of the way, her parents told Tammy, "If at any time you want to go back to your boy's clothes, you can go back to Thomas. It's OK." Tammy has declined every time.
She continues to see therapists.
Tammy's room is painted bright golden yellow, decorated with stuffed animals and cluttered with pink glittery tennis shoes. At home, Tammy dances through the hallway, twirling in her pink flower dress.
"As soon as we let him put on a dress, his personality changed from a very sad kid who sat still, didn't do much of anything to a very happy little girl who was thrilled to be alive," Moreno said.
'I am transgender, and I want my voice to be heard'
The hormone question
This summer, Tammy began the next phase of transition, taking hormone-blocking drugs. This controversial medical treatment prevents children from experiencing puberty.
Girls who feel more like boys take hormone-suppressing medications so they will not develop breasts and start menstruating. Boys who identify as girls can take blockers to avoid developing broad shoulders, deep voice and facial hair. The drugs put their puberty on pause, so they can figure out whether to transition genders.
The hormone blockers are also reversible, because once a child stops taking the drugs, the natural puberty begins, said Dr. Stephen Rosenthal, pediatric endocrinologist at UC San Francisco.
But if the child wants to transition to the other gender, he or she can take testosterone or estrogen hormone treatment to go through the puberty of the opposite gender.
This transgender hormone therapy for children is relatively new in the United States after a gender clinic opened in Boston in 2007. Programs for transgender children exist in cities including Los Angeles, Seattle and San Francisco. The kids are treated by pediatric endocrinologists after long evaluations by mental health professionals.
No statistics exist on the number of transgender children taking such medical treatments.
Medical practitioners have to be careful with children with gender identity issues, said Dr. Kenneth Zucker, head of the Gender Identity Service in the Child, Youth, and Family Program and professor at the University of Toronto. Giving children hormone blockers to kids before the age of 13 is too early, he said.
Zucker conducted a study following 109 boys who had gender identity disorder between the ages of 3 and 12. Researchers followed up at the mean age of 20 and found 12% of these boys continued to want to change genders.
"The vast majority of children lose their desire to be of the other gender later," he said. "So what that means is that one should be very cautious in assuming say that a 6-year-old who has strong desire to be of the other gender will feel that way 10 years later."
All of this leads to unsettling answers for families trying to understand their children. No one knows whether a child's gender dysphoria will continue forever or if it is temporary.
The unsatisfying answer repeated by experts is that only time will tell.
Despite the murky science and social stigma that confound adults, Mario, who has lived as a boy since fourth grade, has a simple answer.
"Don't change for nobody else," he said. "Just be you and be happy."
http://www.cnn.com/2011/09/27/health/transgender-kids/?hpt=he_c1
Friday, September 23, 2011
Dear Lady in the Women's Washroom
LOOSE END Ivan Coyote / Vancouver / Thursday, September 22, 2011
I can only surmise from our recent interaction that I startled you in the women’s washroom at the mall today. I guess I don’t look much like what you seem to think a female washroom user should.
This is not the first time this has happened to me; in fact, this was not the first time this happened to me this week. Forgive me if I was not as patient with you as you seemed to feel I should have been, but I would like to point out that your high-pitched squeal startled me, and I needed to urinate very badly. Perhaps I was not as gracious as I could have been.
To ensure that the next time this happens to you, or me, things go more smoothly for everyone involved, I have jotted down a couple of notes for your reference.
Not everyone fits easily into one of the two options provided on your standard public washroom doors. In my world, gender is a spectrum, not a binary. Just because an individual does not present as what you feel a woman should look like does not mean that person does not belong there.
Public washrooms are just that: public. This means that you do not get to decide whom you share them with. I would like to remind you that everyone, regardless of their gender identity or presentation, needs to pee.
For some of us, public washrooms are stressful places. We generally avoid them whenever possible. Please, rest assured that if I have chosen to enter a public washroom in spite of my long and arduous history with them, I have taken the time to note which door I am about to walk into, and that I am confident I have chosen the lesser of two evils.
I am, in fact, hyper aware of which bathroom I am in. It is not necessary for you to stare at me, pointedly refer to the graphic on the door or discuss my decision loudly with your companions. Gawking, elbowing your friend and repeatedly clearing your throat are also not helpful. Trust me, I will be in and out as quick as is humanly possible.
The next time this happens to you, I would like you to think twice before screaming. I would like you to imagine what it feels like to be me. Imagine being screeched at by a perfect stranger. Now imagine being screeched at when you really need to pee, or your tampon gave out 20 minutes ago. Sucks, doesn’t it?
I want you to know that I understand wanting to feel safe from men while using the bathroom in a public place. This is, in fact, the primary reason I don’t just use the other bathroom. That, and I have a very delicate sense of smell and don’t like returning filthy toilet seats to the down position.
I also would like you to know that trans and genderqueer people suffer from many more bladder infections, urinary tract issues and general pee–related health problems than the general population. I humbly ask you to consider why this might be the case.
I would also like you to know that I have had the great pleasure of spending time with seven-year-old and eight-year-old tomboys lately. Both young girls have experienced serious bullying at school and day camp over their gender presentation, especially in and around the question of gendered bathrooms. They have both come home from school in tears, and one of them even quit science camp because of it.
Hearing that these two sweet, kind, amazing children have already experienced “the bathroom problem” that I so often face myself not only broke my heart, it enraged me. I feel that this type of bullying has impeded their ability to access a public education, and affected their desire to participate in valuable activities outside of school as well.
I would like you to consider how this might affect their self-esteem, their grades and their sense of self-worth. I remind you that they are just little kids. They are only in elementary school, and it has started already. Not such a little thing after all, is it?
I ask you to forgive me my impatience with you at the mall today. But how could I possibly not think of my two little friends and feel anything but rage?
See, when you scream at me without thinking in the women’s washroom, you are implicating yourself in a rigid, two-party gender system that tells others it is okay to discriminate against people like me. Even little children who are like me.
This is the very same attitude that results in queer youth suicides and high school murderers being acquitted because the dead boy asked for it by wearing a skirt and makeup. It is this same attitude that turns its head when trans women are shot at by off-duty police officers and denied services at women’s shelters. It is this kind of sentiment that says it is okay to deny us housing, or a job, or the right to adopt children or dance on a freaking reality television show.
If you think I am making any of this up, then I encourage you to open up your newspaper and have another look.
I would like to remind you that this very same two-party gender system is enforced on me and others like me every day, policed by people just like you. It starts very young, and sometimes is subtle, as small as a second look on the way out of a bathroom stall, but sometimes it is deafening, and painful, and violent — even murderous.
So, the next time you meet up with someone like me in the “ladies’ room,” please think twice before screaming. I am not there by accident. In fact, I spent a lot more time looking at the sign on the door than you ever have.
http://www.xtra.ca/public/Vancouver/Dear_Lady_in_the_Womens_Washroom-10801.aspx#.TnraRKmRi2d.facebook
Reposted at keystothecloset.blogspot.com
I can only surmise from our recent interaction that I startled you in the women’s washroom at the mall today. I guess I don’t look much like what you seem to think a female washroom user should.
This is not the first time this has happened to me; in fact, this was not the first time this happened to me this week. Forgive me if I was not as patient with you as you seemed to feel I should have been, but I would like to point out that your high-pitched squeal startled me, and I needed to urinate very badly. Perhaps I was not as gracious as I could have been.
To ensure that the next time this happens to you, or me, things go more smoothly for everyone involved, I have jotted down a couple of notes for your reference.
Not everyone fits easily into one of the two options provided on your standard public washroom doors. In my world, gender is a spectrum, not a binary. Just because an individual does not present as what you feel a woman should look like does not mean that person does not belong there.
Public washrooms are just that: public. This means that you do not get to decide whom you share them with. I would like to remind you that everyone, regardless of their gender identity or presentation, needs to pee.
For some of us, public washrooms are stressful places. We generally avoid them whenever possible. Please, rest assured that if I have chosen to enter a public washroom in spite of my long and arduous history with them, I have taken the time to note which door I am about to walk into, and that I am confident I have chosen the lesser of two evils.
I am, in fact, hyper aware of which bathroom I am in. It is not necessary for you to stare at me, pointedly refer to the graphic on the door or discuss my decision loudly with your companions. Gawking, elbowing your friend and repeatedly clearing your throat are also not helpful. Trust me, I will be in and out as quick as is humanly possible.
The next time this happens to you, I would like you to think twice before screaming. I would like you to imagine what it feels like to be me. Imagine being screeched at by a perfect stranger. Now imagine being screeched at when you really need to pee, or your tampon gave out 20 minutes ago. Sucks, doesn’t it?
I want you to know that I understand wanting to feel safe from men while using the bathroom in a public place. This is, in fact, the primary reason I don’t just use the other bathroom. That, and I have a very delicate sense of smell and don’t like returning filthy toilet seats to the down position.
I also would like you to know that trans and genderqueer people suffer from many more bladder infections, urinary tract issues and general pee–related health problems than the general population. I humbly ask you to consider why this might be the case.
I would also like you to know that I have had the great pleasure of spending time with seven-year-old and eight-year-old tomboys lately. Both young girls have experienced serious bullying at school and day camp over their gender presentation, especially in and around the question of gendered bathrooms. They have both come home from school in tears, and one of them even quit science camp because of it.
Hearing that these two sweet, kind, amazing children have already experienced “the bathroom problem” that I so often face myself not only broke my heart, it enraged me. I feel that this type of bullying has impeded their ability to access a public education, and affected their desire to participate in valuable activities outside of school as well.
I would like you to consider how this might affect their self-esteem, their grades and their sense of self-worth. I remind you that they are just little kids. They are only in elementary school, and it has started already. Not such a little thing after all, is it?
I ask you to forgive me my impatience with you at the mall today. But how could I possibly not think of my two little friends and feel anything but rage?
See, when you scream at me without thinking in the women’s washroom, you are implicating yourself in a rigid, two-party gender system that tells others it is okay to discriminate against people like me. Even little children who are like me.
This is the very same attitude that results in queer youth suicides and high school murderers being acquitted because the dead boy asked for it by wearing a skirt and makeup. It is this same attitude that turns its head when trans women are shot at by off-duty police officers and denied services at women’s shelters. It is this kind of sentiment that says it is okay to deny us housing, or a job, or the right to adopt children or dance on a freaking reality television show.
If you think I am making any of this up, then I encourage you to open up your newspaper and have another look.
I would like to remind you that this very same two-party gender system is enforced on me and others like me every day, policed by people just like you. It starts very young, and sometimes is subtle, as small as a second look on the way out of a bathroom stall, but sometimes it is deafening, and painful, and violent — even murderous.
So, the next time you meet up with someone like me in the “ladies’ room,” please think twice before screaming. I am not there by accident. In fact, I spent a lot more time looking at the sign on the door than you ever have.
http://www.xtra.ca/public/Vancouver/Dear_Lady_in_the_Womens_Washroom-10801.aspx#.TnraRKmRi2d.facebook
Reposted at keystothecloset.blogspot.com
Friday, August 19, 2011
When boys would rather not be boys
Kids are being diagnosed—and identifying themselves—as transgendered younger than ever before
by Roberta Staley on Friday, August 12, 2011 posted on MacLean's website. http://www2.macleans.ca/2011/08/12/when-boys-would-rather-not-be-boys/?utm_source=_BOTm-pB8c365zF&utm_content=ml25&utm_medium=email
Reposted at Keystothecloset
Cormac O’Dwyer entered Grade 8 in Vancouver as a girl named Amber. All traces of femininity stopped with the name; Amber looked, dressed and acted like a boy. “It was awkward,” admits Cormac, sleeves rolled up to reveal downy, muscular arms, elbows resting on the kitchen table in the family’s immaculate home in upscale Kitsilano. From the other end of the table, Cormac’s mother, Julia, pipes up. “People would use the male pronoun,” she recalls. Usually Julia felt obliged to correct the error, leaving new acquaintances flustered and confused.
But solecisms were the least of Cormac’s worries during the transition from female to male. Becoming a boy involved wearing a breast-flattening binder, changing for phys. ed. in the teachers’ change room, declining invitations to go swimming, and carrying a cellphone to call for help in case of bullying. And then there was the therapy: testosterone injections, counselling and surgery that removed his breasts and contoured what remained into the flat, square planes of a male chest.
Now 16, Cormac is one of a growing number of teenagers in Canada who have been diagnosed with gender identity dysphoria (GID), or transgenderism. These kids feel that they have been born into the wrong bodies, and are actually members of the opposite sex. Cormac recalls his epiphanic moment following a presentation by a peer-counselling group for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth at Lord Byng Secondary School. “I always sort of knew I wanted to be a guy,” says Cormac. “They explained to me what transgender was and, for the first time ever, I ‘got it’ and went home and told my mom.”
Julia, too, clearly remembers that day, and how difficult it was to reconcile her eldest child’s dramatic declaration. “You don’t know how to answer,” she says. “That’s the one thing for someone who isn’t transgender—it’s very hard to understand what is inside a person to need to make that change.”
Treatment of GID is highly controversial. Some experts believe that the best way to help children and teens is to convince them to accept their bodies and not undergo the therapies that will cause dramatic physical changes. Cormac, however, lives in Vancouver, where pediatric endocrinologist Dr. Daniel Metzger and the B.C. Transgender Care Group are based. The loosely organized group, of which Metzger is a member, is the sole provider of care for transgender youth in B.C. and offers the most extensive suite of medical services for GID adolescents in Canada. Metzger believes that the best course of treatment for teenagers diagnosed with GID is hormone therapy: either blockers to stop puberty or, if post-pubescent, hormones that physically alter the body in a way that reflects their chosen gender. For some teens like Cormac, who are confident, psychologically stable and have family support, this transformation can be complemented further with cosmetic surgery.
Without treatment, Metzger argues, the path to adulthood for GID teens can be torturous, as evidenced by shockingly high suicide rates: 45 per cent for those aged 18-44, in comparison to the national average of 1.6 per cent, according to the U.S. 2010 National Transgender Discrimination Survey Report on Health and Health Care. Cormac carefully considers what life would be like today if he were still Amber. He pauses for a few seconds then gravely announces, “I think that would push me to be suicidal.” He is much more calm now, he says, free from his obsession with wanting to be a boy. “Before I transitioned I thought about it a lot, like, every minute. Now, I feel like I have so much extra brain space,” says Cormac, who is an honour roll student.
The sense of calm also comes, he adds, from the unburdening of secrets. He is a young man both in body and spirit, rather than a girl trying to pass as a boy. “I have friends that I’ve had for a year or more and I don’t know if they know or not about the transition. It’s not important to where I am right now. I guess I could tell them but I don’t even think about it.”
Transgender experts like Harvard Medical School professor and endocrinologist Dr. Norman Spack, co-director of Boston Children’s Hospital’s clinic for disorders of sexual differentiation, speaks highly of the B.C. Transgender Care Group. In fact, Spack deems the B.C. program one of the more progressive in the world. While progressive, the B.C. Transgender Care Group is not radical. The group’s psychology or psychiatry transgender specialists will ensure that an adolescent who is diagnosed with GID is mentally healthy before referring them to Metzger for hormonal therapy. If a child has GID in combination with depression or anorexia—which can occur in youngsters trying to cope with the stress of GID—then the hormonal cocktail that transforms their sexual development is delayed. For Cormac, who had already finished puberty, a regimen of testosterone injections stopped his period and thickened his jawline. He began shaving and started to speak in the lower registers. During the transition, Cormac also consulted with Vancouver plastic surgeon Dr. Cameron Bowman—one of only three sex-reassignment surgeons in Canada—about getting a mastectomy. After a panel of psychiatric transgender specialists assessed and approved Cormac’s readiness, he had the operation a week after his 15th birthday, making him one of the youngest transgenders in Canada ever to undergo a provincially funded mastectomy and chest contouring. Pronoun confusion was, at last, a moot point.
Some specialists question whether such a metamorphosis is appropriate for young patients. Psychologist Kenneth Zucker, who heads Toronto’s Gender Identity Service in the Child, Youth, and Family Program at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, leans toward counselling to get his patients—especially the younger ones—to accept their birth sex. He worries that the Internet, which has opened up a world of information for children and teens confused about sexual orientation, may be making “transgenderism fashionable: it’s kind of cool to be transgender, as opposed to being gay or lesbian,” says Zucker, who sees at least 50 new GID cases a year, a “quadrupling compared to 30 years ago.” To illustrate his point, Zucker describes one 15-year-old female patient as a “tomboy” who is attracted to other girls—but interprets the attraction as transgenderism. Such “internalized homophobia” can emerge in homes or cultures that oppose homosexuality, Zucker says. The teen thinks, “It would be easier if I were a boy attracted to girls, because then I wouldn’t be teased for being a lesbian.”
Zucker also cautions that psychological disorders like Asperger syndrome, a form of autism characterized by repetitive patterns of behaviour and interests, can also spark GID. Kids with Asperger’s “can get obsessed with a particular idea, and gender is one.”
Unsurprisingly, given all this, Zucker does not approve sex-reassignment surgery for his adolescent patients at all. And he prefers they wait until they’re at least 13 to take puberty blockers—which are reversible—and especially estrogen or testosterone hormone therapy, the effects of which are not reversible.
Harvard’s Spack is well acquainted with Zucker’s contributions to the study and treatment of GID in children and adolescents. The transgender medical fraternity worldwide, Spack adds, generally supports Zucker’s data showing that about 80 per cent of prepubescent children who identify as the opposite gender will change their minds, while 20 per cent will persist. However, Spack disagrees with Zucker’s counselling methods, which reflect the Toronto psychologist’s fundamental assumption that encouraging a child to play and dress in a way that reflects their biological sex may help them to grow out of their GID. Children who undergo this type of psychological therapy can be devastated by it, Spack believes.
What is the root cause of GID? Clinicians and researchers worldwide are mystified, according to Peggy Cohen-Kettenis, a professor of medical psychology at Free University Medical Center in Amsterdam. Considered one of the world’s foremost experts on transgender adolescents, Cohen-Kettenis believes genetics likely play a strong role; abnormal levels of sex hormones in utero during fetal development may also play a part. Or, brain receptors may be unusually sensitive to developmental hormones, says Cohen-Kettenis. She also points to recent magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) research, which indicates that the brains of those with GID have striking similarities to the brains of the opposite sex with which they identify. For example, according to a study published last year in the Journal of Psychiatric Research, specific regions of female-to-male transsexuals’ brains strongly resemble male brains.
But neither Metzger nor his young patients fret about the cause of a GID diagnosis. The adolescents simply want it dealt with—now. For some male transgenders, Metzger says the prospect of their first period is horrifying, while some female transgenders view their penises as offensive foreign appendages. Anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and drug use can follow, he adds. To help patients cope, the B.C. Transgender Care Group follows a “harm reduction” model of medicine. Puberty blockers—which are reversible and can be administered to patients as young as 10—can be initiated before undesired secondary sex characteristics emerge, says Metzger. The treatment not only changes the course of sexual development but also temporarily eliminates patients’ sex drive—a huge relief to kids who need to “focus on their transitioning, school and therapy,” Metzger says. The hormone blockers—usually Lupron, a $400-a-month injectable synthetic hormone—can be stopped at any time, allowing puberty to resume. For individuals like Cormac who have already gone through puberty, hormone therapy is initiated. This is either oral estrogen or, in Cormac’s case, injectable testosterone, replicating the hormones that are normally produced by the ovaries or testes.
Metzger defends early intervention by arguing that the cessation of undesired—and unmistakable—secondary sex characteristics is key to ensuring that transgender adolescents blend seamlessly into an image-obsessed society when they mature. “I have met lots of adults who transitioned in their 20s and 30s and they look at me like I’m the saviour,” says Metzger, who began treating transgender adolescents 12 years ago—and none of them have regretted their transition. “They say, ‘Oh my God, if there had been someone like you when I was younger, my life would have been totally different. I wouldn’t have spent bazillions of dollars on electrolysis or I wouldn’t have this enormous square jaw.’ They think that the new generation of young transgender kids are so much luckier for being able to do what they knew they wanted to do when they were 12.”
Nonetheless, the mental health experts with the B.C. Transgender Care Group are cautious when it comes to approving the irreversible, final step of GID treatment: sex-reassignment surgery. Cormac O’Dwyer’s surgery was one of only about five that have been approved for adolescents by B.C.’s Medical Services Plan (MSP) in the past 20 years, says Dr. Gail Knudson, one of the group’s psychiatrists. Teens must first complete a full two years of what is called Real Life Experience—engaging with the world at school, work and socially in their chosen gender—in order to be considered for surgery. (Adult transgenders who apply for MSP-funded sex-reassignment surgery only have to make it through one Real Life Experience year.) “It’s better for teens to live two years of Real Life Experience, as their identity as a whole is changing,” says Knudson. “Think of how many times you changed going through adolescence, not only externally but internally: your hairstyle, clothes and beliefs.”
Zucker’s point exactly.
Teenagers, never known for their patience, tend to advocate a swifter process. North Vancouver’s Nikki Buchamer, for one, feels that this conservative approach can cause unnecessary mental anguish. This past spring, Buchamer, a six-foot 17-year-old with blue-black hair and porcelain skin, went before a panel that included Knudson, hoping to be approved for a vaginoplasty, a procedure that is performed at Montreal’s Centre Métropolitain de Chirurgie Plastique, where Canada’s two other sex-reassignment surgeons practise. The complex surgery, which when approved is paid for by B.C.’s MSP, creates female genitalia from penile tissue. Wearing a conservative dress, jacket and leggings, with her hair neatly up, Nikki answered questions from the panel that included queries about her early childhood. In the end, however, the verdict on the surgery was no. “I wanted to bawl my eyes out and walk out,” says the Grade 11 student.
Nikki, whose birth name was Brandon, had only logged 16 months of Real Life Experience as a female, following counselling that crystallized her understanding that she had GID. She estimates that, by the time she is granted another panel hearing, it will be the end of Grade 12 before she is approved for a vaginoplasty.
Matching her physical body to her gender, she says, will lift a crushing weight off her shoulders. “To wake up and not have to think about being trans, to just think about being a person—life will start at this point,” explains Nikki, who has booked surgery this August with Dr. Cameron Bowman to decrease the size of her Adam’s apple.
Michele Buchamer, who accompanied her daughter to the sex-reassignment assessment, which was held in Victoria, was also distraught over the decision. “To a teen, every day is equivalent to three weeks. She just wants to be a normal teenager,” says the interior designer.
Not all parents of teens with GID are as supportive as Nikki’s and Cormac’s. Some oppose their teenager’s transgendering and refuse to give consent for hormone therapy or puberty blockers. Metzger currently has 60 adolescents under his care, the majority referred to him by the psychologist or psychiatrists at the B.C. Transgender Care Group, a few by their family doctors. But some have come to Metzger on their own initiative without their parents’ knowledge after discovering him on the Internet. In B.C., the Infants Act allows Metzger and the B.C. Transgender Group to provide care to these patients without parents’ consent so long as the “young person is capable and the medical treatment is in the young person’s ‘best interests.’ ”
In Canada, common law dictates that a “person under the common law age of majority who is capable of appreciating the nature and consequences of a particular operation or other treatment, whether recommended by the treating physician or chosen by the capable young person, can give an effective consent without anyone else’s approval being required,” David C. Day wrote in 2007 in The Canadian Bar Review. The rub, of course, is that a young patient’s care is limited by what their physician, psychiatrist or endocrinologist will consent to.
Even though parents can’t legally prevent Metzger from initiating hormone therapy for his young patients, he will counsel them to postpone such treatment if it will put them at risk or alienate family members. “If they are going to get kicked out of the house and have nowhere to live, then we might come up with an alternative plan or try to encourage the kid to wait a little longer for therapy, just for their safety,” Metzger says. One of his transgender patients, Karina, who asked that her last name not be used, says that her conservative Korean family opposed her transition when she started estrogen therapy at age 17. Her mother sent angry emails to Karina’s psychiatrist and lashed out at her daughter. “She tells me that I’m ugly and I sound funny and that I’m screwing up my life,” says the petite, long-haired 19-year-old, who is looking for work so she can afford to leave home.
Metzger sighs as he ponders how difficult it is for parents to accept that their child has GID. “I always tell the kids that they are running faster than their parents and the parents are a little bit behind.” Some, however, do catch up. “I’ve seen some super hyper-resistant dads who have come around amazingly.”
When Nikki Buchamer thinks back to her childhood, she realizes there were early signs of GID. She was mesmerized, for example, by any TV show, cartoon or book where a character changed gender. GID, indeed, often begins in early childhood, experts say. And many transgenders say that they knew as young as four or five that they were born in the wrong body. Again, however, the most efficacious treatment for young children is cause for debate.
In Toronto, Kenneth Zucker treats children as young as five who exhibit early signs of GID. These include, he says, unconventional play behaviour: a little boy might prefer dolls instead of Bionicles and tiaras instead of hockey helmets. Such cross-gender play should be discouraged, says Zucker, or it might become permanent in adolescence. “They just have an easier life—they don’t have to go on lifelong therapy or have these incredibly invasive surgeries,” he reasons. About 80 per cent of his preadolescent patients outgrow their cross-gender behaviour by puberty, he claims, which supports the rationale for a highly conservative approach to therapy.
In Vancouver, however, Gail Knudson argues that stymying cross-gender play can cause kids to become secretive and hide their behaviour. “It’s okay for children to explore their gender at home in a safe way. If they want to dress differently or do different types of activities, that should be encouraged—if not, it goes underground,” Knudson says. “Practising different gender roles decreases their dysphoria.”
With evidence such as the MRI research pointing toward GID as a physical condition, Knudson questions the notion that it is a mental disorder at all. “If it was a mental disorder and you gave people psychotherapy, it would go away—and it doesn’t. If you give people an antipsychotic or antidepressant, it would go away—and it doesn’t,” she says.
But teens like Cormac care little about the cause of their dysphoria, being more focused on the present. Cormac points out that he can now concentrate on his budding acting career and maintaining honour roll grades at Lord Byng Secondary, rather than obsessing “every minute” about his chromosomal infelicity. Looking to the future, he muses that he might consider undergoing a phalloplasty—the creation of a neo-penis—to complete his transgender journey. But for now, he is simply content in his own skin, happy to be just a normal teenage boy.
by Roberta Staley on Friday, August 12, 2011 posted on MacLean's website. http://www2.macleans.ca/2011/08/12/when-boys-would-rather-not-be-boys/?utm_source=_BOTm-pB8c365zF&utm_content=ml25&utm_medium=email
Reposted at Keystothecloset
Cormac O’Dwyer entered Grade 8 in Vancouver as a girl named Amber. All traces of femininity stopped with the name; Amber looked, dressed and acted like a boy. “It was awkward,” admits Cormac, sleeves rolled up to reveal downy, muscular arms, elbows resting on the kitchen table in the family’s immaculate home in upscale Kitsilano. From the other end of the table, Cormac’s mother, Julia, pipes up. “People would use the male pronoun,” she recalls. Usually Julia felt obliged to correct the error, leaving new acquaintances flustered and confused.
But solecisms were the least of Cormac’s worries during the transition from female to male. Becoming a boy involved wearing a breast-flattening binder, changing for phys. ed. in the teachers’ change room, declining invitations to go swimming, and carrying a cellphone to call for help in case of bullying. And then there was the therapy: testosterone injections, counselling and surgery that removed his breasts and contoured what remained into the flat, square planes of a male chest.
Now 16, Cormac is one of a growing number of teenagers in Canada who have been diagnosed with gender identity dysphoria (GID), or transgenderism. These kids feel that they have been born into the wrong bodies, and are actually members of the opposite sex. Cormac recalls his epiphanic moment following a presentation by a peer-counselling group for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth at Lord Byng Secondary School. “I always sort of knew I wanted to be a guy,” says Cormac. “They explained to me what transgender was and, for the first time ever, I ‘got it’ and went home and told my mom.”
Julia, too, clearly remembers that day, and how difficult it was to reconcile her eldest child’s dramatic declaration. “You don’t know how to answer,” she says. “That’s the one thing for someone who isn’t transgender—it’s very hard to understand what is inside a person to need to make that change.”
Treatment of GID is highly controversial. Some experts believe that the best way to help children and teens is to convince them to accept their bodies and not undergo the therapies that will cause dramatic physical changes. Cormac, however, lives in Vancouver, where pediatric endocrinologist Dr. Daniel Metzger and the B.C. Transgender Care Group are based. The loosely organized group, of which Metzger is a member, is the sole provider of care for transgender youth in B.C. and offers the most extensive suite of medical services for GID adolescents in Canada. Metzger believes that the best course of treatment for teenagers diagnosed with GID is hormone therapy: either blockers to stop puberty or, if post-pubescent, hormones that physically alter the body in a way that reflects their chosen gender. For some teens like Cormac, who are confident, psychologically stable and have family support, this transformation can be complemented further with cosmetic surgery.
Without treatment, Metzger argues, the path to adulthood for GID teens can be torturous, as evidenced by shockingly high suicide rates: 45 per cent for those aged 18-44, in comparison to the national average of 1.6 per cent, according to the U.S. 2010 National Transgender Discrimination Survey Report on Health and Health Care. Cormac carefully considers what life would be like today if he were still Amber. He pauses for a few seconds then gravely announces, “I think that would push me to be suicidal.” He is much more calm now, he says, free from his obsession with wanting to be a boy. “Before I transitioned I thought about it a lot, like, every minute. Now, I feel like I have so much extra brain space,” says Cormac, who is an honour roll student.
The sense of calm also comes, he adds, from the unburdening of secrets. He is a young man both in body and spirit, rather than a girl trying to pass as a boy. “I have friends that I’ve had for a year or more and I don’t know if they know or not about the transition. It’s not important to where I am right now. I guess I could tell them but I don’t even think about it.”
Transgender experts like Harvard Medical School professor and endocrinologist Dr. Norman Spack, co-director of Boston Children’s Hospital’s clinic for disorders of sexual differentiation, speaks highly of the B.C. Transgender Care Group. In fact, Spack deems the B.C. program one of the more progressive in the world. While progressive, the B.C. Transgender Care Group is not radical. The group’s psychology or psychiatry transgender specialists will ensure that an adolescent who is diagnosed with GID is mentally healthy before referring them to Metzger for hormonal therapy. If a child has GID in combination with depression or anorexia—which can occur in youngsters trying to cope with the stress of GID—then the hormonal cocktail that transforms their sexual development is delayed. For Cormac, who had already finished puberty, a regimen of testosterone injections stopped his period and thickened his jawline. He began shaving and started to speak in the lower registers. During the transition, Cormac also consulted with Vancouver plastic surgeon Dr. Cameron Bowman—one of only three sex-reassignment surgeons in Canada—about getting a mastectomy. After a panel of psychiatric transgender specialists assessed and approved Cormac’s readiness, he had the operation a week after his 15th birthday, making him one of the youngest transgenders in Canada ever to undergo a provincially funded mastectomy and chest contouring. Pronoun confusion was, at last, a moot point.
Some specialists question whether such a metamorphosis is appropriate for young patients. Psychologist Kenneth Zucker, who heads Toronto’s Gender Identity Service in the Child, Youth, and Family Program at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, leans toward counselling to get his patients—especially the younger ones—to accept their birth sex. He worries that the Internet, which has opened up a world of information for children and teens confused about sexual orientation, may be making “transgenderism fashionable: it’s kind of cool to be transgender, as opposed to being gay or lesbian,” says Zucker, who sees at least 50 new GID cases a year, a “quadrupling compared to 30 years ago.” To illustrate his point, Zucker describes one 15-year-old female patient as a “tomboy” who is attracted to other girls—but interprets the attraction as transgenderism. Such “internalized homophobia” can emerge in homes or cultures that oppose homosexuality, Zucker says. The teen thinks, “It would be easier if I were a boy attracted to girls, because then I wouldn’t be teased for being a lesbian.”
Zucker also cautions that psychological disorders like Asperger syndrome, a form of autism characterized by repetitive patterns of behaviour and interests, can also spark GID. Kids with Asperger’s “can get obsessed with a particular idea, and gender is one.”
Unsurprisingly, given all this, Zucker does not approve sex-reassignment surgery for his adolescent patients at all. And he prefers they wait until they’re at least 13 to take puberty blockers—which are reversible—and especially estrogen or testosterone hormone therapy, the effects of which are not reversible.
Harvard’s Spack is well acquainted with Zucker’s contributions to the study and treatment of GID in children and adolescents. The transgender medical fraternity worldwide, Spack adds, generally supports Zucker’s data showing that about 80 per cent of prepubescent children who identify as the opposite gender will change their minds, while 20 per cent will persist. However, Spack disagrees with Zucker’s counselling methods, which reflect the Toronto psychologist’s fundamental assumption that encouraging a child to play and dress in a way that reflects their biological sex may help them to grow out of their GID. Children who undergo this type of psychological therapy can be devastated by it, Spack believes.
What is the root cause of GID? Clinicians and researchers worldwide are mystified, according to Peggy Cohen-Kettenis, a professor of medical psychology at Free University Medical Center in Amsterdam. Considered one of the world’s foremost experts on transgender adolescents, Cohen-Kettenis believes genetics likely play a strong role; abnormal levels of sex hormones in utero during fetal development may also play a part. Or, brain receptors may be unusually sensitive to developmental hormones, says Cohen-Kettenis. She also points to recent magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) research, which indicates that the brains of those with GID have striking similarities to the brains of the opposite sex with which they identify. For example, according to a study published last year in the Journal of Psychiatric Research, specific regions of female-to-male transsexuals’ brains strongly resemble male brains.
But neither Metzger nor his young patients fret about the cause of a GID diagnosis. The adolescents simply want it dealt with—now. For some male transgenders, Metzger says the prospect of their first period is horrifying, while some female transgenders view their penises as offensive foreign appendages. Anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and drug use can follow, he adds. To help patients cope, the B.C. Transgender Care Group follows a “harm reduction” model of medicine. Puberty blockers—which are reversible and can be administered to patients as young as 10—can be initiated before undesired secondary sex characteristics emerge, says Metzger. The treatment not only changes the course of sexual development but also temporarily eliminates patients’ sex drive—a huge relief to kids who need to “focus on their transitioning, school and therapy,” Metzger says. The hormone blockers—usually Lupron, a $400-a-month injectable synthetic hormone—can be stopped at any time, allowing puberty to resume. For individuals like Cormac who have already gone through puberty, hormone therapy is initiated. This is either oral estrogen or, in Cormac’s case, injectable testosterone, replicating the hormones that are normally produced by the ovaries or testes.
Metzger defends early intervention by arguing that the cessation of undesired—and unmistakable—secondary sex characteristics is key to ensuring that transgender adolescents blend seamlessly into an image-obsessed society when they mature. “I have met lots of adults who transitioned in their 20s and 30s and they look at me like I’m the saviour,” says Metzger, who began treating transgender adolescents 12 years ago—and none of them have regretted their transition. “They say, ‘Oh my God, if there had been someone like you when I was younger, my life would have been totally different. I wouldn’t have spent bazillions of dollars on electrolysis or I wouldn’t have this enormous square jaw.’ They think that the new generation of young transgender kids are so much luckier for being able to do what they knew they wanted to do when they were 12.”
Nonetheless, the mental health experts with the B.C. Transgender Care Group are cautious when it comes to approving the irreversible, final step of GID treatment: sex-reassignment surgery. Cormac O’Dwyer’s surgery was one of only about five that have been approved for adolescents by B.C.’s Medical Services Plan (MSP) in the past 20 years, says Dr. Gail Knudson, one of the group’s psychiatrists. Teens must first complete a full two years of what is called Real Life Experience—engaging with the world at school, work and socially in their chosen gender—in order to be considered for surgery. (Adult transgenders who apply for MSP-funded sex-reassignment surgery only have to make it through one Real Life Experience year.) “It’s better for teens to live two years of Real Life Experience, as their identity as a whole is changing,” says Knudson. “Think of how many times you changed going through adolescence, not only externally but internally: your hairstyle, clothes and beliefs.”
Zucker’s point exactly.
Teenagers, never known for their patience, tend to advocate a swifter process. North Vancouver’s Nikki Buchamer, for one, feels that this conservative approach can cause unnecessary mental anguish. This past spring, Buchamer, a six-foot 17-year-old with blue-black hair and porcelain skin, went before a panel that included Knudson, hoping to be approved for a vaginoplasty, a procedure that is performed at Montreal’s Centre Métropolitain de Chirurgie Plastique, where Canada’s two other sex-reassignment surgeons practise. The complex surgery, which when approved is paid for by B.C.’s MSP, creates female genitalia from penile tissue. Wearing a conservative dress, jacket and leggings, with her hair neatly up, Nikki answered questions from the panel that included queries about her early childhood. In the end, however, the verdict on the surgery was no. “I wanted to bawl my eyes out and walk out,” says the Grade 11 student.
Nikki, whose birth name was Brandon, had only logged 16 months of Real Life Experience as a female, following counselling that crystallized her understanding that she had GID. She estimates that, by the time she is granted another panel hearing, it will be the end of Grade 12 before she is approved for a vaginoplasty.
Matching her physical body to her gender, she says, will lift a crushing weight off her shoulders. “To wake up and not have to think about being trans, to just think about being a person—life will start at this point,” explains Nikki, who has booked surgery this August with Dr. Cameron Bowman to decrease the size of her Adam’s apple.
Michele Buchamer, who accompanied her daughter to the sex-reassignment assessment, which was held in Victoria, was also distraught over the decision. “To a teen, every day is equivalent to three weeks. She just wants to be a normal teenager,” says the interior designer.
Not all parents of teens with GID are as supportive as Nikki’s and Cormac’s. Some oppose their teenager’s transgendering and refuse to give consent for hormone therapy or puberty blockers. Metzger currently has 60 adolescents under his care, the majority referred to him by the psychologist or psychiatrists at the B.C. Transgender Care Group, a few by their family doctors. But some have come to Metzger on their own initiative without their parents’ knowledge after discovering him on the Internet. In B.C., the Infants Act allows Metzger and the B.C. Transgender Group to provide care to these patients without parents’ consent so long as the “young person is capable and the medical treatment is in the young person’s ‘best interests.’ ”
In Canada, common law dictates that a “person under the common law age of majority who is capable of appreciating the nature and consequences of a particular operation or other treatment, whether recommended by the treating physician or chosen by the capable young person, can give an effective consent without anyone else’s approval being required,” David C. Day wrote in 2007 in The Canadian Bar Review. The rub, of course, is that a young patient’s care is limited by what their physician, psychiatrist or endocrinologist will consent to.
Even though parents can’t legally prevent Metzger from initiating hormone therapy for his young patients, he will counsel them to postpone such treatment if it will put them at risk or alienate family members. “If they are going to get kicked out of the house and have nowhere to live, then we might come up with an alternative plan or try to encourage the kid to wait a little longer for therapy, just for their safety,” Metzger says. One of his transgender patients, Karina, who asked that her last name not be used, says that her conservative Korean family opposed her transition when she started estrogen therapy at age 17. Her mother sent angry emails to Karina’s psychiatrist and lashed out at her daughter. “She tells me that I’m ugly and I sound funny and that I’m screwing up my life,” says the petite, long-haired 19-year-old, who is looking for work so she can afford to leave home.
Metzger sighs as he ponders how difficult it is for parents to accept that their child has GID. “I always tell the kids that they are running faster than their parents and the parents are a little bit behind.” Some, however, do catch up. “I’ve seen some super hyper-resistant dads who have come around amazingly.”
When Nikki Buchamer thinks back to her childhood, she realizes there were early signs of GID. She was mesmerized, for example, by any TV show, cartoon or book where a character changed gender. GID, indeed, often begins in early childhood, experts say. And many transgenders say that they knew as young as four or five that they were born in the wrong body. Again, however, the most efficacious treatment for young children is cause for debate.
In Toronto, Kenneth Zucker treats children as young as five who exhibit early signs of GID. These include, he says, unconventional play behaviour: a little boy might prefer dolls instead of Bionicles and tiaras instead of hockey helmets. Such cross-gender play should be discouraged, says Zucker, or it might become permanent in adolescence. “They just have an easier life—they don’t have to go on lifelong therapy or have these incredibly invasive surgeries,” he reasons. About 80 per cent of his preadolescent patients outgrow their cross-gender behaviour by puberty, he claims, which supports the rationale for a highly conservative approach to therapy.
In Vancouver, however, Gail Knudson argues that stymying cross-gender play can cause kids to become secretive and hide their behaviour. “It’s okay for children to explore their gender at home in a safe way. If they want to dress differently or do different types of activities, that should be encouraged—if not, it goes underground,” Knudson says. “Practising different gender roles decreases their dysphoria.”
With evidence such as the MRI research pointing toward GID as a physical condition, Knudson questions the notion that it is a mental disorder at all. “If it was a mental disorder and you gave people psychotherapy, it would go away—and it doesn’t. If you give people an antipsychotic or antidepressant, it would go away—and it doesn’t,” she says.
But teens like Cormac care little about the cause of their dysphoria, being more focused on the present. Cormac points out that he can now concentrate on his budding acting career and maintaining honour roll grades at Lord Byng Secondary, rather than obsessing “every minute” about his chromosomal infelicity. Looking to the future, he muses that he might consider undergoing a phalloplasty—the creation of a neo-penis—to complete his transgender journey. But for now, he is simply content in his own skin, happy to be just a normal teenage boy.
Friday, July 1, 2011
National Coalition for LGBT Health and National Gay and Lesbian Task Force applaud inclusion of sexual orientation and gender identity in HHS National Health Interview Survey
Washington, June 29 - The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and the National Coalition for LGBT Health applaud the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) for outlining an action plan to improve health data collection for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) individuals. Today's announcement is an important step forward in the effort to better address the health needs of the LGBT community. The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and the National Coalition for LGBT Health will track the process closely as data collection efforts progress.
Data collection that tracks the health status and experiences of LGBT individuals is essential because such data provide government agencies and community-based health care workers with information about how to offer the best health services for LGBT individuals and communities. It also will document and address health disparities experienced by LGBT people.
HHS unveiled a plan that will allow the department to more fully count and track the health of LGBT individuals by collecting and reporting sexual orientation and gender identity data on the National Health Interview Survey (NHIS). The plan establishes a timeline, including benchmarks along the way, for ensuring that sexual orientation and gender identity questions are added to the NHIS survey. This process includes field testing existing questions on sexual orientation as well as developing and field testing gender identity questions with the assistance of leading researchers in the field of LGBT data collection.
Hutson W. Inniss, executive director of the National Coalition for LGBT Health, says, "This is a historic day for the field of LGBT health. At the National Coalition for LGBT Health, we have been working with our members to advocate for such progress and develop tools that can be used on these surveys. We know that LGBT individuals experience unique health disparities, and tracking this data on the national level will be a remarkable step forward to documenting and identifying ways to reduce the disparities that LGBT people face."
Rea Carey, executive director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, says, "This announcement represents a huge step forward for addressing the health care needs of LGBT people in this country. Data collection is essential for establishing programs that address the needs of the LGBT community in the area of health and elsewhere. The Task Force, through the New Beginning Initiative, has been advocating for data collection around sexual orientation and gender identity on all sorts of federal surveys because if they don't count us, we're virtually invisible to the federal government. We look forward to supporting HHS as this process moves ahead."
Data collection in health surveys and in other contexts has been a key priority for the New Beginning Initiative, a coalition of expert organizations convened by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force working to advance LGBT policy priorities in federal administrative agencies. The National Coalition for LGBT Health has led the efforts of the New Beginning Initiative to have sexual orientation and gender identity data collected on federal and state surveys, and this announcement marks a breakthrough victory in this effort.
To learn more about the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, visit www.theTaskForce.org and follow us on Twitter: @TheTaskForce (http://www.twitter.com/thetaskforce).
Reposted at keystothecloset@blogspot.com
Data collection that tracks the health status and experiences of LGBT individuals is essential because such data provide government agencies and community-based health care workers with information about how to offer the best health services for LGBT individuals and communities. It also will document and address health disparities experienced by LGBT people.
HHS unveiled a plan that will allow the department to more fully count and track the health of LGBT individuals by collecting and reporting sexual orientation and gender identity data on the National Health Interview Survey (NHIS). The plan establishes a timeline, including benchmarks along the way, for ensuring that sexual orientation and gender identity questions are added to the NHIS survey. This process includes field testing existing questions on sexual orientation as well as developing and field testing gender identity questions with the assistance of leading researchers in the field of LGBT data collection.
Hutson W. Inniss, executive director of the National Coalition for LGBT Health, says, "This is a historic day for the field of LGBT health. At the National Coalition for LGBT Health, we have been working with our members to advocate for such progress and develop tools that can be used on these surveys. We know that LGBT individuals experience unique health disparities, and tracking this data on the national level will be a remarkable step forward to documenting and identifying ways to reduce the disparities that LGBT people face."
Rea Carey, executive director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, says, "This announcement represents a huge step forward for addressing the health care needs of LGBT people in this country. Data collection is essential for establishing programs that address the needs of the LGBT community in the area of health and elsewhere. The Task Force, through the New Beginning Initiative, has been advocating for data collection around sexual orientation and gender identity on all sorts of federal surveys because if they don't count us, we're virtually invisible to the federal government. We look forward to supporting HHS as this process moves ahead."
Data collection in health surveys and in other contexts has been a key priority for the New Beginning Initiative, a coalition of expert organizations convened by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force working to advance LGBT policy priorities in federal administrative agencies. The National Coalition for LGBT Health has led the efforts of the New Beginning Initiative to have sexual orientation and gender identity data collected on federal and state surveys, and this announcement marks a breakthrough victory in this effort.
To learn more about the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, visit www.theTaskForce.org and follow us on Twitter: @TheTaskForce (http://www.twitter.com/thetaskforce).
Reposted at keystothecloset@blogspot.com
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Therapy to change 'feminine' boy created a troubled man, family says
By Scott Bronstein and Jessi Joseph, CNN June 7, 2011 -- Updated 1745 GMT
Family describes anti-'sissy' therapy
• Siblings: Gay brother killed himself decades after treatment to make him more masculine
• Treatment included withholding maternal attention and punishment
• Ex-clinic psychologist: It's "inaccurate to assume" therapy caused Kirk Murphy's suicide
Editor's note: Tonight at 10 ET on CNN TV, "AC360º" examines a shocking "experimental therapy" designed to make feminine boys more masculine. See what one family says was the devastating result in a special report, "The Sissy Boy Experiment."
Los Angeles (CNN) -- Kirk Andrew Murphy seemed to have everything to live for.
He put himself through school. He had a successful 12-year career in the Air Force. After the service, he landed a high profile position with an American finance company in India.
But in 2003 at age 38, Kirk Murphy took his own life.
A co-worker found him hanging from the fan of his apartment in New Delhi. His family has struggled for years to understand what happened.
Gallery: UCLA's Gender Identity Clinic
"I used to spend so much time thinking, why would he kill himself at the age of 38? It doesn't make any sense to me," said Kirk's sister, Maris Murphy. "What I now think is I don't know how he made it that long."
After Kirk's death, Maris started a search that would uncover a dark family secret. That secret revealed itself during a phone conversation with her older brother Mark, who mentioned his distrust of any kind of therapy.
"Don't you remember all that crap we went through at UCLA?" he asked her. Maris was too young to remember the details, but Mark remembered it vividly as a low point in their lives.
IReport: Did you participate in similar research?
Wanting a 'normal life'
Kirk Murphy was a bright 5-year-old boy, growing up near Los Angeles in the 1970s. He was the middle child, with big brother Mark, 8, and little sister Maris, just a baby at 9 months. Their mother, Kaytee Murphy, remembers Kirk's kind nature, "He was just very intelligent, and a sweet, sweet, child." But she was also worried.
It left Kirk just totally stricken with the belief that he was broken, that he was different from everybody else.
--Maris Murphy, Kirk's sister
"Well, I was becoming a little concerned, I guess, when he was playing with dolls and stuff," she said. "Playing with the girls' toys, and probably picking up little effeminate, well, like stroking the hair, the long hair and stuff. It just bothered me that maybe he was picking up maybe too many feminine traits." She said it bothered her because she wanted Kirk to grow up and have "a normal life."
Then Kaytee Murphy saw a psychologist on local television.
"He was naming all of these things; 'If your son is doing five of these 10 things, does he prefer to play with girls' toys instead of boys' toys?' Just things like this," she said.
The doctor was on TV that day, recruiting boys for a government-funded program at the University of California, Los Angeles.
"Well, him being the expert, I thought, maybe I should take Kirk in," said Kaytee Murphy. "In other words, nip it in the bud, before it got started any further."
Kirk becomes 'Kraig'
Kaytee Murphy took Kirk to UCLA, where he was treated largely by George A. Rekers, a doctoral student at the time.
In Rekers' study documenting his experimental therapy (PDF), he writes about a boy he calls "Kraig." Another UCLA gender researcher confirmed that "Kraig" was a pseudonym for Kirk.
The study, later published in an academic journal, concludes that after therapy, "Kraig's" feminine behavior was gone and he became "indistinguishable from any other boy."
"Kraig, I think, certainly was Rekers' poster boy for what Rekers was espousing for young children," said Jim Burroway, a writer and researcher who has studied Rekers' work.
I thought, maybe I should take Kirk in ... nip it in the bud, before it got started any further.
--Kaytee Murphy, Kirk Murphy's mother
"We have been wondering where is Kraig? A lot of us have talked about it. Where is he today? Is he married or is he gay? Or specifically does he even know that Rekers has been writing about him?" said Burroway. "I found 17 different articles, books, chapters, that he has written in which he talked about Kraig."
Rekers' work with Kirk Murphy helped him build a three-decade career as a leading national expert in trying to prevent children from becoming gay, a career as an anti-gay champion that would later be tainted by his involvement in an embarrassing scandal.
The experiments
The therapy at UCLA involved a special room with two tables where "Kraig's" behavior was monitored, according to the study.
"There was a one-way mirror or one-way window -- and some days they would let him choose which table he would go to," said Maris, who has read about the experiments.
At one table Kirk could choose between what were considered masculine toys like plastic guns and handcuffs, and what were meant to be feminine toys like dolls and a play crib. At the other table, Kirk could choose between boys' clothing and a toy electric razor or items like dress-up jewelry and a wig.
See details about the experimental therapy
According to the case study, Kaytee Murphy was told to ignore her son when he played with feminine toys and compliment him when he played with masculine toys.
"They pretty much told him he wasn't right the way that he was, but they never really explained it to him what the issue was. They did it through play," Maris said.
Rekers wrote that Kirk would cry out for attention, even throwing tantrums, but Kaytee Murphy was told to keep going.
Harsh beatings
At home, the punishment for feminine behavior would become more severe. The therapists instructed Kirk's parents to use poker chips as a system of rewards and punishments.
According to Rekers' case study, blue chips were given for masculine behavior and would bring rewards, such as candy. But the red chips, given for effeminate behavior, resulted in "physical punishment by spanking from the father."
Mark said he was told to participate in the chip reward-and-punishment system as a way to make Kirk feel like the system was OK.
I only meant to help, do the best I could with the parents.
--Dr. George Rekers
The family said the spankings were severe. Maris remembers "lots of belt incidents." She escaped the screaming by going to her bed to "lay in the room with my pillow on my head." Later, she would go to Kirk's bedroom and "lay down and hug him and we would just lay there, and the thing that I remember is that he never even showed anger. He was just numb."
During one particularly harsh punishment, their mother recalls, her husband "spanked" Kirk "so hard that he had welts up and down his back and on his buttocks."
She remembers her son Mark saying, "Cry harder, and he won't hit so hard." She says, "Today, it would be abuse."
Sometimes Mark would try to protect his brother, to make his beatings less severe.
"I took some of the red chips and I put them on my side," said Mark, as tears came to his eyes. But he said the beatings were still frequent.
The number of stacked red chips became a telltale sign about the level of tension in the house. When he returned home each day, Mark often looked for the chips in their easily visible location between the living room and the kitchen.
"You looked and were like, 'What's the chip count today? What happened? What changed? How bad is it going to be?' And it was always bad. There was whipping every Friday night. There was no way out of it."
Kirk's formal clinical treatment lasted 10 months, but the family said some of the treatment techniques and practices lasted longer at home.
'Different from everybody else'
Mark Murphy vividly remembers a photo of a smiling young Kirk, age 4, taken a year before the therapy started.
"This is my brother, Kirk Andrew Murphy, right here," Mark said, pointing to the picture. "This is the way he's supposed to be right here," Mark said tearfully.
Mark said the photo shows the last time he remembers his brother as a happy child.
Maris, who was too young to remember Kirk when he went to therapy, said she only knew Kirk after his treatment.
"It left Kirk just totally stricken with the belief that he was broken, that he was different from everybody else," she recalled. "He even ate his lunch in the boy's bathroom for three years of his high school career, if you want to call it that."
CDC: Lack of acceptance can lead to risky behavior for non-straight youth
Kirk's mother said she believes the experimental therapy destroyed Kirk's life.
"I blame them for the way his life turned out," she said. "If one person causes another person's death, I don't care if it's 20 or 50 years later, it's the same as murder in my eyes."
Of course, the actual reason someone commits suicide is difficult, if not impossible to know. The family's allegations that Rekers' therapy caused Kirk Murphy to take his life are just that -- allegations.
When Rekers did not respond to CNN's repeated requests for an interview, CNN producers tracked him down in Florida to ask about the Murphy family's allegations.
It's "inaccurate to assume" therapy led to Kirk Murphy's suicide, says George Rekers, who treated Murphy.
"Well, I think, scientifically that would be inaccurate to assume that it was the therapy, but I do grieve for the parents now that you've told me that news. I think that's very sad," he said.
Rekers pointed out that the therapy had been decades earlier.
"That's a long time ago, and to hypothesize, you have a hypothesis that positive treatment back in the 1970s has something to do with something happening decades later. That would, that hypothesis would need a lot of scientific investigation to see if it's valid. Two independent psychologists with me had evaluated him and said he was better adjusted after treatment, so it wasn't my opinion." he said.
One of those psychologists has since died. The other -- Dr. Larry Ferguson -- told CNN that he did evaluate Kirk Murphy as a teenager. He said the family was well adjusted and he did not see any "red flags" when evaluating Kirk. But Maris Murphy says Kirk lied to those examining him. "He was conditioned to say what they wanted to hear," she said.
Rekers said he could not give specific details about Kirk Murphy's treatment, citing doctor-patient confidentiality. For him, the bottom line is that the therapy was intended to help.
"I only meant to help, do the best I could with the parents, and I've written articles you can look up, too, on the rationale for our treatment. And the rationale was positive; to help children, help the parents who come to us in their distress asking questions, 'What can we do to help our child be better adjusted?' " Rekers said.
Karl Bryant, a professor of women's and gender studies at the State University of New York at New Paltz, was also taken to UCLA as a child, as a part of a different study of effeminate boys.
Bryant said he thinks the more tragic part of Kirk's story is people "trying to do something good, trying to help ... even in a misguided mode, who end up producing these negative outcomes for people."
Bryant has studied the history of work done with children with opposite-sex behavior extensively, and said the studies are complex.
"I never have -- had tried to kill myself or thought that I was going to kill myself," said Bryant. "But I could identify with that pain of -- of feeling like you want to be something and other people want you to be something that you aren't."
'Unwanted homosexuality'
Rekers, who conducted the therapy on Kirk, went on to build a career of influence based on the premise from his research that homosexuality can be prevented.
He became a founding member of the Family Research Council, a faith-based organization that lobbies against gay-rights issues. Rekers was also on the board of the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality, an organization of scientists that says its mission is to offer treatment to those who struggle with what they call "unwanted homosexuality."
"He's viewed as an expert by some, you know, when it's -- when it serves their purposes," said Bryant. "So, you know, basically, conservative and what I would call mostly 'fringe' groups have really, you know, Rekers as their poster boy."
Just last year, Rekers' days as an anti-gay champion would come to an end. He hired a male escort to accompany him on his trip to Europe.
Rekers denies any sexual contact with the male escort. Rekers says he's not gay. He claims he wasn't aware that his companion offered sexual favors for sale over the Internet until after the trip, and says he hired him only to carry his bags. But the reporters who broke the story about Rekers' trip say they saw Rekers pushing a luggage cart through a Miami airport, where they took his photo.
After the scandal broke, Rekers resigned from NARTH. And the Family Research Council said in a statement they hadn't had contact with Rekers in "over a decade."
Rekers vacations with 'rentboy'
His reputation among those who oppose homosexuality may be tarnished, but his research is still being cited in books and journals.
As recently as 2009, a book Rekers co-authored, "Handbook of Therapy for Unwanted Homosexual Attractions," cites Kraig's case as a success. That was six years after Kirk Murphy took his own life.
For Maris Murphy, there is more to the story than what was written in case studies about her brother.
"The research has a postscript that needs to be added," she said. "That is that Kirk Andrew Murphy was Kraig and he was gay, and he committed suicide."
"I want people to remember that this was a little boy who deserved protection, respect and unconditional love," his sister said. "I don't want him to be remembered as a science experiment. He was a person."
Family describes anti-'sissy' therapy
• Siblings: Gay brother killed himself decades after treatment to make him more masculine
• Treatment included withholding maternal attention and punishment
• Ex-clinic psychologist: It's "inaccurate to assume" therapy caused Kirk Murphy's suicide
Editor's note: Tonight at 10 ET on CNN TV, "AC360º" examines a shocking "experimental therapy" designed to make feminine boys more masculine. See what one family says was the devastating result in a special report, "The Sissy Boy Experiment."
Los Angeles (CNN) -- Kirk Andrew Murphy seemed to have everything to live for.
He put himself through school. He had a successful 12-year career in the Air Force. After the service, he landed a high profile position with an American finance company in India.
But in 2003 at age 38, Kirk Murphy took his own life.
A co-worker found him hanging from the fan of his apartment in New Delhi. His family has struggled for years to understand what happened.
Gallery: UCLA's Gender Identity Clinic
"I used to spend so much time thinking, why would he kill himself at the age of 38? It doesn't make any sense to me," said Kirk's sister, Maris Murphy. "What I now think is I don't know how he made it that long."
After Kirk's death, Maris started a search that would uncover a dark family secret. That secret revealed itself during a phone conversation with her older brother Mark, who mentioned his distrust of any kind of therapy.
"Don't you remember all that crap we went through at UCLA?" he asked her. Maris was too young to remember the details, but Mark remembered it vividly as a low point in their lives.
IReport: Did you participate in similar research?
Wanting a 'normal life'
Kirk Murphy was a bright 5-year-old boy, growing up near Los Angeles in the 1970s. He was the middle child, with big brother Mark, 8, and little sister Maris, just a baby at 9 months. Their mother, Kaytee Murphy, remembers Kirk's kind nature, "He was just very intelligent, and a sweet, sweet, child." But she was also worried.
It left Kirk just totally stricken with the belief that he was broken, that he was different from everybody else.
--Maris Murphy, Kirk's sister
"Well, I was becoming a little concerned, I guess, when he was playing with dolls and stuff," she said. "Playing with the girls' toys, and probably picking up little effeminate, well, like stroking the hair, the long hair and stuff. It just bothered me that maybe he was picking up maybe too many feminine traits." She said it bothered her because she wanted Kirk to grow up and have "a normal life."
Then Kaytee Murphy saw a psychologist on local television.
"He was naming all of these things; 'If your son is doing five of these 10 things, does he prefer to play with girls' toys instead of boys' toys?' Just things like this," she said.
The doctor was on TV that day, recruiting boys for a government-funded program at the University of California, Los Angeles.
"Well, him being the expert, I thought, maybe I should take Kirk in," said Kaytee Murphy. "In other words, nip it in the bud, before it got started any further."
Kirk becomes 'Kraig'
Kaytee Murphy took Kirk to UCLA, where he was treated largely by George A. Rekers, a doctoral student at the time.
In Rekers' study documenting his experimental therapy (PDF), he writes about a boy he calls "Kraig." Another UCLA gender researcher confirmed that "Kraig" was a pseudonym for Kirk.
The study, later published in an academic journal, concludes that after therapy, "Kraig's" feminine behavior was gone and he became "indistinguishable from any other boy."
"Kraig, I think, certainly was Rekers' poster boy for what Rekers was espousing for young children," said Jim Burroway, a writer and researcher who has studied Rekers' work.
I thought, maybe I should take Kirk in ... nip it in the bud, before it got started any further.
--Kaytee Murphy, Kirk Murphy's mother
"We have been wondering where is Kraig? A lot of us have talked about it. Where is he today? Is he married or is he gay? Or specifically does he even know that Rekers has been writing about him?" said Burroway. "I found 17 different articles, books, chapters, that he has written in which he talked about Kraig."
Rekers' work with Kirk Murphy helped him build a three-decade career as a leading national expert in trying to prevent children from becoming gay, a career as an anti-gay champion that would later be tainted by his involvement in an embarrassing scandal.
The experiments
The therapy at UCLA involved a special room with two tables where "Kraig's" behavior was monitored, according to the study.
"There was a one-way mirror or one-way window -- and some days they would let him choose which table he would go to," said Maris, who has read about the experiments.
At one table Kirk could choose between what were considered masculine toys like plastic guns and handcuffs, and what were meant to be feminine toys like dolls and a play crib. At the other table, Kirk could choose between boys' clothing and a toy electric razor or items like dress-up jewelry and a wig.
See details about the experimental therapy
According to the case study, Kaytee Murphy was told to ignore her son when he played with feminine toys and compliment him when he played with masculine toys.
"They pretty much told him he wasn't right the way that he was, but they never really explained it to him what the issue was. They did it through play," Maris said.
Rekers wrote that Kirk would cry out for attention, even throwing tantrums, but Kaytee Murphy was told to keep going.
Harsh beatings
At home, the punishment for feminine behavior would become more severe. The therapists instructed Kirk's parents to use poker chips as a system of rewards and punishments.
According to Rekers' case study, blue chips were given for masculine behavior and would bring rewards, such as candy. But the red chips, given for effeminate behavior, resulted in "physical punishment by spanking from the father."
Mark said he was told to participate in the chip reward-and-punishment system as a way to make Kirk feel like the system was OK.
I only meant to help, do the best I could with the parents.
--Dr. George Rekers
The family said the spankings were severe. Maris remembers "lots of belt incidents." She escaped the screaming by going to her bed to "lay in the room with my pillow on my head." Later, she would go to Kirk's bedroom and "lay down and hug him and we would just lay there, and the thing that I remember is that he never even showed anger. He was just numb."
During one particularly harsh punishment, their mother recalls, her husband "spanked" Kirk "so hard that he had welts up and down his back and on his buttocks."
She remembers her son Mark saying, "Cry harder, and he won't hit so hard." She says, "Today, it would be abuse."
Sometimes Mark would try to protect his brother, to make his beatings less severe.
"I took some of the red chips and I put them on my side," said Mark, as tears came to his eyes. But he said the beatings were still frequent.
The number of stacked red chips became a telltale sign about the level of tension in the house. When he returned home each day, Mark often looked for the chips in their easily visible location between the living room and the kitchen.
"You looked and were like, 'What's the chip count today? What happened? What changed? How bad is it going to be?' And it was always bad. There was whipping every Friday night. There was no way out of it."
Kirk's formal clinical treatment lasted 10 months, but the family said some of the treatment techniques and practices lasted longer at home.
'Different from everybody else'
Mark Murphy vividly remembers a photo of a smiling young Kirk, age 4, taken a year before the therapy started.
"This is my brother, Kirk Andrew Murphy, right here," Mark said, pointing to the picture. "This is the way he's supposed to be right here," Mark said tearfully.
Mark said the photo shows the last time he remembers his brother as a happy child.
Maris, who was too young to remember Kirk when he went to therapy, said she only knew Kirk after his treatment.
"It left Kirk just totally stricken with the belief that he was broken, that he was different from everybody else," she recalled. "He even ate his lunch in the boy's bathroom for three years of his high school career, if you want to call it that."
CDC: Lack of acceptance can lead to risky behavior for non-straight youth
Kirk's mother said she believes the experimental therapy destroyed Kirk's life.
"I blame them for the way his life turned out," she said. "If one person causes another person's death, I don't care if it's 20 or 50 years later, it's the same as murder in my eyes."
Of course, the actual reason someone commits suicide is difficult, if not impossible to know. The family's allegations that Rekers' therapy caused Kirk Murphy to take his life are just that -- allegations.
When Rekers did not respond to CNN's repeated requests for an interview, CNN producers tracked him down in Florida to ask about the Murphy family's allegations.
It's "inaccurate to assume" therapy led to Kirk Murphy's suicide, says George Rekers, who treated Murphy.
"Well, I think, scientifically that would be inaccurate to assume that it was the therapy, but I do grieve for the parents now that you've told me that news. I think that's very sad," he said.
Rekers pointed out that the therapy had been decades earlier.
"That's a long time ago, and to hypothesize, you have a hypothesis that positive treatment back in the 1970s has something to do with something happening decades later. That would, that hypothesis would need a lot of scientific investigation to see if it's valid. Two independent psychologists with me had evaluated him and said he was better adjusted after treatment, so it wasn't my opinion." he said.
One of those psychologists has since died. The other -- Dr. Larry Ferguson -- told CNN that he did evaluate Kirk Murphy as a teenager. He said the family was well adjusted and he did not see any "red flags" when evaluating Kirk. But Maris Murphy says Kirk lied to those examining him. "He was conditioned to say what they wanted to hear," she said.
Rekers said he could not give specific details about Kirk Murphy's treatment, citing doctor-patient confidentiality. For him, the bottom line is that the therapy was intended to help.
"I only meant to help, do the best I could with the parents, and I've written articles you can look up, too, on the rationale for our treatment. And the rationale was positive; to help children, help the parents who come to us in their distress asking questions, 'What can we do to help our child be better adjusted?' " Rekers said.
Karl Bryant, a professor of women's and gender studies at the State University of New York at New Paltz, was also taken to UCLA as a child, as a part of a different study of effeminate boys.
Bryant said he thinks the more tragic part of Kirk's story is people "trying to do something good, trying to help ... even in a misguided mode, who end up producing these negative outcomes for people."
Bryant has studied the history of work done with children with opposite-sex behavior extensively, and said the studies are complex.
"I never have -- had tried to kill myself or thought that I was going to kill myself," said Bryant. "But I could identify with that pain of -- of feeling like you want to be something and other people want you to be something that you aren't."
'Unwanted homosexuality'
Rekers, who conducted the therapy on Kirk, went on to build a career of influence based on the premise from his research that homosexuality can be prevented.
He became a founding member of the Family Research Council, a faith-based organization that lobbies against gay-rights issues. Rekers was also on the board of the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality, an organization of scientists that says its mission is to offer treatment to those who struggle with what they call "unwanted homosexuality."
"He's viewed as an expert by some, you know, when it's -- when it serves their purposes," said Bryant. "So, you know, basically, conservative and what I would call mostly 'fringe' groups have really, you know, Rekers as their poster boy."
Just last year, Rekers' days as an anti-gay champion would come to an end. He hired a male escort to accompany him on his trip to Europe.
Rekers denies any sexual contact with the male escort. Rekers says he's not gay. He claims he wasn't aware that his companion offered sexual favors for sale over the Internet until after the trip, and says he hired him only to carry his bags. But the reporters who broke the story about Rekers' trip say they saw Rekers pushing a luggage cart through a Miami airport, where they took his photo.
After the scandal broke, Rekers resigned from NARTH. And the Family Research Council said in a statement they hadn't had contact with Rekers in "over a decade."
Rekers vacations with 'rentboy'
His reputation among those who oppose homosexuality may be tarnished, but his research is still being cited in books and journals.
As recently as 2009, a book Rekers co-authored, "Handbook of Therapy for Unwanted Homosexual Attractions," cites Kraig's case as a success. That was six years after Kirk Murphy took his own life.
For Maris Murphy, there is more to the story than what was written in case studies about her brother.
"The research has a postscript that needs to be added," she said. "That is that Kirk Andrew Murphy was Kraig and he was gay, and he committed suicide."
"I want people to remember that this was a little boy who deserved protection, respect and unconditional love," his sister said. "I don't want him to be remembered as a science experiment. He was a person."
Monday, May 23, 2011
Raising a kid without disclosing its sex
Cory Doctorow at 9:22 AM Saturday, May 21, 2011
Kathy Witterick and David Stocker are raising a kid in Toronto without disclosing its sex to anyone except its older siblings and grandparents. Its siblings are boys, but choose whether they wear "girl's" clothes or "boy's" clothes and get to pick their own toys. The parents attribute their childrearing notions to being reared on Free to Be... You and Me. I like the section in the article about bullying: "When faced with inevitable judgment by others, which child stands tall (and sticks up for others) -- the one facing teasing despite desperately trying to fit in, or the one with a strong sense of self and at least two 'go-to' adults who love them unconditionally? Well, I guess you know which one we choose."
"When the baby comes out, even the people who love you the most and know you so intimately, the first question they ask is, 'Is it a girl or a boy?'" says Witterick, bouncing Storm, dressed in a red-fleece jumper, on her lap at the kitchen table.
"If you really want to get to know someone, you don't ask what's between their legs," says Stocker.
The moment a child's sex is announced, so begins the parade of pink and barrage of blue. Tutus and toy trucks aren't far behind. The couple says it only intensifies with age.
"In fact, in not telling the gender of my precious baby, I am saying to the world, 'Please can you just let Storm discover for him/herself what s (he) wants to be?!." Witterick writes in an email.
Kathy Witterick and David Stocker are raising a kid in Toronto without disclosing its sex to anyone except its older siblings and grandparents. Its siblings are boys, but choose whether they wear "girl's" clothes or "boy's" clothes and get to pick their own toys. The parents attribute their childrearing notions to being reared on Free to Be... You and Me. I like the section in the article about bullying: "When faced with inevitable judgment by others, which child stands tall (and sticks up for others) -- the one facing teasing despite desperately trying to fit in, or the one with a strong sense of self and at least two 'go-to' adults who love them unconditionally? Well, I guess you know which one we choose."
"When the baby comes out, even the people who love you the most and know you so intimately, the first question they ask is, 'Is it a girl or a boy?'" says Witterick, bouncing Storm, dressed in a red-fleece jumper, on her lap at the kitchen table.
"If you really want to get to know someone, you don't ask what's between their legs," says Stocker.
The moment a child's sex is announced, so begins the parade of pink and barrage of blue. Tutus and toy trucks aren't far behind. The couple says it only intensifies with age.
"In fact, in not telling the gender of my precious baby, I am saying to the world, 'Please can you just let Storm discover for him/herself what s (he) wants to be?!." Witterick writes in an email.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Updates from Nat. Coalition for LGBT Health
Register Now for the 2011 National LGBTI Health Summit
We are just 60 days away from the 2011 National LGBTI Health Summit on July 16-19, 2011, in Bloomington, Indiana. Register now to take advantage of the low $150 registration cost, thanks to collaborations with Positive Link (a program of Indiana University Health Bloomington Hospital), the City of Bloomington, and Indiana University. The conference offers CHES credits for public health professionals and a broad range of innovative workshops, plenaries, networking, organizing, and social activities to meld our "rainbow alphabet" together around our work in the field of LGBTI health. The 2011 National LGBTI Health Summit is dedicated to preserving and improving the emotional, physical, spiritual, mental, and social health and wellness of LGBTI people. The theme of this year’s summit is "At the Crossroads," which emphasizes the summit’s mission to reach members of LGBTI communities who are marginalized and experience health disparities unique to race/ethnicity, age, and disability; as well as disparities on the basis of sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender. Register now!
http://www.nationallgbtihealthsummit.com/registration.html
New LGBT-Inclusive Regulations from Department of Housing and Urban Affairs
Stable and affordable housing is a major component of good health and wellbeing for everyone, including LGBT people. Among other benefits, stable housing can help reduce substance use, lower risk of HIV infection, and improve mental and physical health. Earlier this year, the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) proposed regulations banning discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity in its core federal housing programs. The Coalition strongly supports the new regulations and submitted comments recommending a broader and more inclusive definition of family and asking that the proposed ban on discrimination be extended to include perceived as well as actual sexual orientation and gender identity. We applaud HUD for its commitment to helping make stable and affordable housing accessible for LGBT people and their families.
New LGBT-Inclusive Regulations from Department of Labor
Like housing, regular employment and a workplace free of discrimination and harassment is a crucial factor in quality of life for LGBT people. Employment is particularly important for health because employer-based health insurance is a cornerstone of the US health system. Recognizing this, the Department of Labor joined the Department of Health and Human Services in revising its equal employment opportunity policy to include gender identity as well as sexual orientation. The Coalition welcomes the new policies and looks forward to continuing to work with agencies such as the Departments of Health and Human Services, Labor, and Housing and Urban Affairs to create and implement policies that help LGBT people and their families lead safe and healthy lives.
LGBT Families Matter
Same-sex couples live in almost every county across the United States, and more than one million of these couples are raising children. These families need the same protections as any other family to ensure that parents and partners can fulfill their commitment to keeping each other and their children safe and healthy. Check out our new blog post at MomsRising Blog about what the Affordable Care Act means for LGBT people and their families. Then head over to the National Partnership for Women and Families to read more about how paid sick days standards help LGBT families.
http://www.momsrising.org/blog/changing-the-game-what-health-care-reform-means-for-gay-lesbian-bisexual-and-transgender-americans/
All of this and more can be found at http://lgbthealth.webolutionary.com/
reposted at keystothecloset.blogspot.com
We are just 60 days away from the 2011 National LGBTI Health Summit on July 16-19, 2011, in Bloomington, Indiana. Register now to take advantage of the low $150 registration cost, thanks to collaborations with Positive Link (a program of Indiana University Health Bloomington Hospital), the City of Bloomington, and Indiana University. The conference offers CHES credits for public health professionals and a broad range of innovative workshops, plenaries, networking, organizing, and social activities to meld our "rainbow alphabet" together around our work in the field of LGBTI health. The 2011 National LGBTI Health Summit is dedicated to preserving and improving the emotional, physical, spiritual, mental, and social health and wellness of LGBTI people. The theme of this year’s summit is "At the Crossroads," which emphasizes the summit’s mission to reach members of LGBTI communities who are marginalized and experience health disparities unique to race/ethnicity, age, and disability; as well as disparities on the basis of sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender. Register now!
http://www.nationallgbtihealthsummit.com/registration.html
New LGBT-Inclusive Regulations from Department of Housing and Urban Affairs
Stable and affordable housing is a major component of good health and wellbeing for everyone, including LGBT people. Among other benefits, stable housing can help reduce substance use, lower risk of HIV infection, and improve mental and physical health. Earlier this year, the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) proposed regulations banning discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity in its core federal housing programs. The Coalition strongly supports the new regulations and submitted comments recommending a broader and more inclusive definition of family and asking that the proposed ban on discrimination be extended to include perceived as well as actual sexual orientation and gender identity. We applaud HUD for its commitment to helping make stable and affordable housing accessible for LGBT people and their families.
New LGBT-Inclusive Regulations from Department of Labor
Like housing, regular employment and a workplace free of discrimination and harassment is a crucial factor in quality of life for LGBT people. Employment is particularly important for health because employer-based health insurance is a cornerstone of the US health system. Recognizing this, the Department of Labor joined the Department of Health and Human Services in revising its equal employment opportunity policy to include gender identity as well as sexual orientation. The Coalition welcomes the new policies and looks forward to continuing to work with agencies such as the Departments of Health and Human Services, Labor, and Housing and Urban Affairs to create and implement policies that help LGBT people and their families lead safe and healthy lives.
LGBT Families Matter
Same-sex couples live in almost every county across the United States, and more than one million of these couples are raising children. These families need the same protections as any other family to ensure that parents and partners can fulfill their commitment to keeping each other and their children safe and healthy. Check out our new blog post at MomsRising Blog about what the Affordable Care Act means for LGBT people and their families. Then head over to the National Partnership for Women and Families to read more about how paid sick days standards help LGBT families.
http://www.momsrising.org/blog/changing-the-game-what-health-care-reform-means-for-gay-lesbian-bisexual-and-transgender-americans/
All of this and more can be found at http://lgbthealth.webolutionary.com/
reposted at keystothecloset.blogspot.com
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Study: Discrimination Takes A Toll On Transgender Americans
March 28, 2011 Posted at http://keystothecloset.blogspot.com/ reposted from
More than 40 percent of transgender Americans have attempted suicide. That's according to a new, first-of-its-kind survey into discrimination against people who express a gender identity different to the one with which they were born. Host Michel Martin discusses the findings and experiences within transgender communities with Jaime Grant and Michelle Enfield, a transgender woman who was born a biological male.
This report is avaialble at:
http://www.thetaskforce.org/downloads/reports/reports/ntds_full.pdf
More than 40 percent of transgender Americans have attempted suicide. That's according to a new, first-of-its-kind survey into discrimination against people who express a gender identity different to the one with which they were born. Host Michel Martin discusses the findings and experiences within transgender communities with Jaime Grant and Michelle Enfield, a transgender woman who was born a biological male.
This report is avaialble at:
http://www.thetaskforce.org/downloads/reports/reports/ntds_full.pdf
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
"She's A Boy I Knew" film showing to Benefit TransOhio
They say that when someone comes out of the closet, they
can't stop talking about it. Vancouver
not only talked she made a movie. Using archival family
footage, interviews, phone messages, and hand-drawn animation,
begins in 2000 with Steven Haworth's decision to come out to
his family about his life-long female gender identity. The resulting
auto-ethnography is not only an exploration into the
filmmaker's process of transition from biological male to female,
from Steven to Gwen, but also an emotionally charged
account of the individual experiences, struggles, and stakes
that her two sisters, mother, father, best friend and wife
brought to Gwen's transition.
Under Haworth 's sensitive eye, each stepping stone in the
process of transitioning becomes an opportunity to explore
her community's and our own underlying assumptions about
gender and sexuality. When Steven starts to wear his wife
Malgosia's clothing, she struggles with whether Steve "wants
to be with me or to be me;" when Steven changes her name
to Gwen, her father comments, that's "when I realized I lost
my son;" Haworth 's gender reassignment surgery, or vaginoplasty,
forces her sister Kim to grapple with her own experiences
in the medical establishment and raises questions about
the implications of the medicalization of gender.
In these tender and difficult moments, SHE'S A BOY I KNEW forces us to question our own assumptions about
the role that names, clothing, and anatomy play in our constructions of gender identity. As her transition progresses,
Gwen is forced to reckon with the end of her marriage and the loss of her status as son and brother. But
in doing so, she also discovers that while the nature of personal relationships may change, the love and support
present within those relationships can remain just as powerful and sometimes even more so.
At turns painful, funny, and awkward, SHE'S A BOY I KNEW explores the frustrations, fears, questions, and
hopes experienced by Gwen and her family as they struggle to understand and embrace her newly revealed identity.
Monday, February 21 · 8:00pm - 10:00pm
$6—Benefits TransOhio
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