Friday, February 10, 2012

Cynthia Nixon Update: I Don’t Identify as Bi Because Nobody Likes Bisexuals

Posted by Kevin Farrell on Jan 24, 2012 in Real Talk

Perhaps sensing some frustration (and a twinge of outrage?) from the LGBT community over her comments about choosing to be gay, Cynthia Nixon spoke with The Daily Beast’s Kevin Sessums for a quickie follow-up interview.

Sessums, like the majority of our readers, posits that if Nixon truly possesses the ability to choose between being gay and being straight, then isn’t she really bisexual? And wouldn’t that then mean she didn’t actually have a choice in her sexuality after all?

KS: You’ve been very vocal and political about marriage equality and helped lead the successful fight for it in New York. So congratulations on your own marriage. But before you met and fell in love over seven years ago now with Christine—who, through a sperm donor, gave birth to your son Max Ellington almost a year ago—you were in a 15-year relationship with Danny Mozes, whom you first met in high school. You had two children with him—Samantha, who is now 15, and Charles Ezekiel, who is 9. You’ve been quoted as saying about these two relationships in your life: “In terms of sexual orientation, I don’t really feel I’ve changed … I’ve been with men all my life and I’d never fallen in love with a woman. But when I did, it didn’t seem so strange. I’m just a woman in love with another woman.” I’m a bit confused. Were you a lesbian in a heterosexual relationship? Or are you now a heterosexual in a lesbian relationship? That quote seemed like you were fudging a bit.

CN: It’s so not fudging. It’s so not. I think for gay people who feel 100 percent gay, it doesn’t make any sense. And for straight people who feel 100 percent straight, it doesn’t make any sense. I don’t pull out the “bisexual” word because nobody likes the bisexuals. Everybody likes to dump on the bisexuals.

KS: But it is the “B” in LGBT.

CN: I know. But we get no respect.

KS: You just said “we,” so you must self-identify as one.

CN: I just don’t like to pull out that word. But I do completely feel that when I was in relationships with men, I was in love and in lust with those men. And then I met Christine and I fell in love and lust with her. I am completely the same person and I was not walking around in some kind of fog. I just responded to the people in front of me the way I truly felt.

Honestly, we can empathize with Nixon and her feelings toward her own sexuality. But this interview just makes her come off worse than before.

Nobody has the right to judge anyone about who they are attracted to – it’s kind of what the LGBT community is fighting for, isn’t it? But we can’t imagine that saying “nobody likes bisexuals” is going to go over very well.

What do you think about Nixon’s comments? Does anybody like bisexuals? Are we all just twisting her words here?
Originially posted at

Reposted for thoughts at

1 comment:

  1. I am not at all offended by Cynthia Nixon's comments. To begin with, Only she can evaluate or label her own experience and her relationships. My initial reaction to article is mind your own business and bugger off.

    And I'll stick my neck out and say I agree that they are many people both inside and outside the LGBT community who dislike and/or openly discriminate against individuals who identify as bisexuals. Many in our community don't consider bisexuals as "real" members of the community, or less committed. I frequently see discrimination and stigma against bisexuals.

    People hate what they don't understand. Everyone has a right to self-identification. We don't need to explain ourselves or deliniate the specifics of what exactly we do and don't do in our homes and with whom. That is not anyone's business.

    Having said that, Ms. Nixon is an outspoken activist and advocate for LGBT rights and marriage equality. Does it matter what you think of her relationships? No. Don't you have other things to worry about?